How to Pray for People

Eva:        Guys, that’s so sad. I’m going to sign off and pray for her.

Skylar:  Oh, good for you, honey. If I had a god, I’d totally do the same thing.

Bring It On (2011)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, here today for your enjoyment and edification, I present – a List of Things the Pauline Epistles Say Believers Should Pray For One Another. You know, in case you’ve never yet felt compelled to compile one of your own. Caveats first: I’m not including other bits of the New Testament, mainly because they don’t really specify things to pray for one another in the same way; and I’m not including things Paul says to pray for people outside the body of Christ, because that’s not what I’m interested in today. I’m also going to try to make the imminent deluge of passages a bit more navigable by underlining what I think are the key things being prayed for. Let’s go.

 

Someone praying, presumably. I never understood why putting your hands together like that should be the official position, but at least it’s a useful visual cue.

Part One: Things Paul Says He Prays For Others

Romans 1:10-12:

that somehow, by God’s will, he may now at last succeed in coming to them,

because he longs to see them, that he may impart to them some spiritual gift to strengthen them –

that is, that they may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.

2 Corinthians 13:7:

that they may not do wrong – and that for its own sake, not so that he himself might not seem to have failed.

Ephesians 1:16-19:

that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give them the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him,

having the eyes of their hearts enlightened, that they may know

what is the hope to which he has called them,

what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,

and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power towards us who believe.

Ephesians 3:14-19:

that according to the riches of his glory he may grant them to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in their inner being,

so that Christ may dwell in their hearts through faith;

that they, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,

and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,

that they may be filled with the fullness of God.

Philippians 1:9-11:

that their love may abound more and more with knowledge and all discernment,

so that they may approve what is excellent,

and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,

filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Christ Jesus, to the glory and praise of God.

Colossians 1:9-12:

that they may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,

so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him,

bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God,

being strengthened in all power, according to his glorious might,

for all endurance and patience with joy,

giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified them to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12:

that our God may make them worthy of the calling

and may fulfil every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power,

so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in them,

and they in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Philemon 6:

that the sharing of his [Philemon’s] faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.

And a bonus one, which Paul says his buddy Epaphras prays on behalf of others –

Colossians 4:12:

that they may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God.

Part Two: Things Paul Asks Others To Pray For Him

Romans 15:30-32:

that he may be delivered from the unbelievers in Judea,

and that his service for Jerusalem may be acceptable to the saints,

so that by God’s will he may come to them with joy and be refreshed in their company.

2 Corinthians 1:9-11:

that he may be delivered from deadly peril when he faces it again,

so that many will give thanks on his behalf for the blessing granted him through the prayers of many.

Ephesians 6:19:

that words may be given him to proclaim the gospel boldly.

Colossians 4:3-4:

that God may open a door to him for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ;

that he may make it clear, as he ought to speak.

2 Thessalonians 3:1-2:

that the word of the Lord may speed ahead and be honoured,

and that he may be delivered from wicked and evil men, for the faith is not everyone’s.

Hebrews 13:18-19:

because he is sure he has a clear conscience, desiring to act honourably in all things,

that he may be restored to them the sooner.

OK, that’s all the passages I can find in which Paul expressly says what his prayer for his addressees is, or asks them to pray for something in particular on behalf of him or those with him.¹ Now, let’s see whether you agree with me about the Recurrent Themes discernible in these extracts; in descending order of emphasis:

1)       Increased knowledge of God and the gospel

2)      Increased love and godly behaviour (to the glory of God)

3)      Preaching the gospel well

4)      Opportunity to see (and minister to) one another

5)      Deliverance from danger

Should ‘being strengthened’ make the list, you wonder? I did underline it a couple of times above. But take another look at that chunk of Ephesians 3: the strength in question is strength to comprehend the fullness of the love of Christ. So I’ve decided to subsume that aspect into Category 1. (That’s a bit blimey, isn’t it – the love of Christ is so mind-bogglingly vast that you actually need to pray for the strength to comprehend it.)

 

So yeah, not that sort of strength. Though I’m suitably impressed.

Here’s what I think, then: these are the things we should be praying for one another. These are the things the scriptures tell us to pray for one another, and so they’re the ones that ought to be our focus when we’re mentioning our brothers and sisters in our prayers.

This may not be news to you, but it has sort of been news to me. You may be familiar with what I like to call Prayer Point Culture. There are certain occasions – the end of a small-group Bible study is the most obvious – where you’re expected to provide a Prayer Point so that your spiritual siblings have a bit of direction as to how they can most usefully make intercession for you in the next little while. And because we’re all terrible show-offs at heart, you always want to come up with a good Prayer Point. Prayer Point Culture is the nebulous conglomeration of values and expectations that dictates which Prayer Points are the most acceptable. “My close relative is ill; please pray for her recovery,” is an acceptable Prayer Point. “I invited a friend to a church event; please pray that we would have good conversations about it,” is an acceptable Prayer Point. For some strange reason, “I have a lot of deadlines at the moment; please pray that I’d get everything done,” seems to be an acceptable prayer point. Good Prayer Points, as defined by such Prayer Point Culture as I have encountered, almost always relate to specific events in your life that are likely to be resolved one way or another after not too many more small-group meetings.

And then there are the lame prayer points. The boring ones. The ones that lack an obvious endpoint and are therefore frustrating by their very nature – like revising for an exam without knowing when you’re supposed to be taking it. “Please pray that I would grow in my knowledge of God.” “Please pray that I would increase in love and holiness.” That’s not the kind of Prayer Point you can present to the group while enjoying a pleasant degree of smugness that it’s a good one according to the standards of Prayer Point Culture (because, you know, Pleasantly Smug is quite clearly something we as Christians should be hoping to be). On the contrary, it just sounds like you couldn’t think of anything better to say. I’ve actually done that before: racked my brains for something specific to request prayer for, and, having come up empty, shrugged and suggested that people just pray for my sanctification. Until I can think of something better, you know.

What a fool I’ve been. What has sounded to me like an uninteresting default is, according to the scriptures, actually of greater importance than anything else I might put forward. Think again on that list of five Recurrent Themes that I identified above. First priority to pray for someone, that she would better know God and his love for her and the power with which he has effected that love. And then the better she knows that, the more she’ll be living in a manner consistent with her new identity as a beloved son of God,² increasing in the love and holiness that are the hallmark family traits: second priority. And then the more she does that, the more opportunity she’ll have to give a reason for the hope that is in her, so it matters that she should speak with such boldness and clarity as to enable others to get to know what she knows too: third priority. And then the more she grows in her gifting to speak the word of God – which, as I’ve argued fully elsewhere, every believer has in one way or another³ – the more other believers will be able to benefit from her ministry if she is able to meet with more of them: fourth priority. And then the more all this keeps happening, the more likely it is that there’ll be pushback against it from a world which still fundamentally hates God – pushback which must not prevail against the Church or silence the preaching of the gospel: fifth priority.

You don’t have to follow my little schema that closely, of course, but my challenge to you, sister or brother of mine, is that you let your intercessions on behalf of the saints be shaped by the priorities that the scriptures reveal on this front. If it is our intention that our prayers align with the will of God – which, hint, it certainly should be – then these are the things we should be asking him to do for our fellow saints. Not so much neat, acceptable Prayer Points with neat, obvious endpoints, as the ongoing struggle to know the Lord better, to be shaped after his likeness, to preach the gospel to the world, to fulfil our ministry to one another, and to not be overcome by evil.

And so these are also the things I ask on behalf of all my brothers and sisters who read this, knowing that God our perfect Father, having told us to ask such things, will not fail to grant them. Amen.

Footnotes

¹ Yeah, I think Paul probably wrote the book of Hebrews – either him or someone very familiar with his work. Fight me.

² I say ‘son’ deliberately. The idea is not just of being God’s offspring, but being his heir, which is why the Bible opts to describe us as God’s ‘sons’ rather than simply his ‘children’. Try Galatians 4 for the distinction: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=gal+4&version=ESVUK. Plus, I don’t get the impression that, in the new creation, we’ll be meaningfully male and female any more, so since that’s where my inheritance is, I’m really not precious about expressing the status that grants me access to that inheritance in female terms.

³ I made that case in ‘On Spiritual Gifts’, under August 2019 in my blog archive.